Frustrated

Never did go out to the Gardens today, just went to the park, fed the ducks and read for an hour or so. I feel... anxious, restless, lonely. Wish there was someone I could talk to, someone to share things with. A little while ago I found myself starring at the number for the employee assistance programme at work. I've been thinking about giving them a call, trying to arrange some counselling for myself, deal with my grief. Trouble is I've seen counselors twice before that I can remember, once just before my heart condition was diagnosed. That ended when I revealed something to him I've never told another living soul. The other was when Kyoko and I were getting counselling for some communications problems we were having just before we went overseas. And that ended about as badly as anything could. So I'm unsure about taking the risk again. I want to do something, just not sure about what it is I want to do.